My Project for 2012 was entitled “The Happiness Project,” but it was really a year of random acts of kindness (RAOK). So, why the “Happiness” title? Simple, I was hypothesizing that performing random acts of kindness would increase not only the happiness of those I served, but also my own happiness. I had no idea how right I was.
Studies show that happy people are healthier people. They experience lower levels of cortisol in their saliva, lower blood pressure, lower ambulatory heart rate in men, and reduced neuroendocrine, inflammatory, and cardiovascular activity. Happy people have more successes in life in general too; even though it may seem that success leads to more happiness, it really is the other way around a lot. Happy people tend to be very social and have stronger romantic and social relationships with others than less-happy people. Research has also found happy people to be energetic, decisive, creative, social, trusting, loving, and responsive. (Source)
Those who know me personally know that the last few years have challenged me a lot. Not to say they’ve been harder for me than others’ lives are for them; I’m just saying they’ve been a little rough. I’ve been in crisis mode a lot…way more than I wanted to be. A lot of the time, it was merely surviving and definitely not thriving. With my husband working out of town way more than he was home, there was a lot on my shoulders and it was mine and mine alone. Yes, there were certainly people I could call, but with busy lives of their own, I never felt very comfortable doing so. Amidst all of that, I suppose I was just waiting for someone to help me without me asking and that wasn’t really fair of me. I made a decision that I needed to make changes. I am NOT an unhappy person in general; I just was having a hard time being happy amidst all I was dealing with on my own.
Around that time, I read about “The Birthday Project,” and thought it sounded awesome. When I was unable to get it done on my birthday, I decided it would be my project for the next year. I was thinking and hoping that by NOT focusing on the stresses in my life and instead turning my attention to the needs of others, I could make them happier and hopefully me too. Thus, “The Happiness Project” was born. (I later found out there is a book with the same title, which is a great book-highly recommended).
While trying to find RAOK’s that I could do for little to no money (having given myself a budget of $100 for the year) was tricky, finding ways to serve was so easy. There are, of course, people whose needs exceed what I can give; however, when I gave what I could, it made a difference. There were acts of service that I didn’t see the results of, but that almost made them more worthwhile to me. Most importantly, when I started looking outside of myself and my struggles, my struggles became easier to handle. It allowed me to push myself this year and accomplish things I never thought I’d ever accomplish. It allowed me to make changes to things that didn’t seem possible. It allowed me, honestly, to really be happy.
My struggles are still there and in some aspects they are greater. They still stress me out. I worry daily about how we’ll make our mortgage payment this month and whether my child (who has now not eaten for over two years) is growing and developing normally. I worry whether my husband will be able to find employment in our area and be able to be a full-time member of our household. I worry that my kids are happy. I worry if I’m spending enough time with them versus yelling at them. There’s more, but I think you get my drift. Those stressers are still there, but I am, in the most important aspects of my life, happy…really happy. I have a wonderful man that I am married to and we have an amazing, solid marriage. I have family that I love and adore and great things in my life. By focusing on my stresses, the GREAT things in my life were minimized and really it should be the other way around.
So, why should you care about other people’s happiness? Why not? There are so many bad things happening in the world. Why not be someone who promotes good. I saw a segment on the Today Show this week (I couldn’t find it to link it here) about some high schoolers who were using Twitter as a place to send positive messages to classmates and teachers. What a great idea. Can you imagine a world where there was no bullying? No hatred? Nobody ashamed of who they are? So many kids head down the wrong road because they don’t feel loved, why not give a little and spread love and kindness? It’s so easy. So, so easy.
Will my Happiness Project end? Never. I just have an ending of the weekly blogging about it. It really has changed my life and I won’t give that up!
